I say that 'I feel your pain' mainly because to maintain a loving relationship requires hard work and a TON of compromise. If you are like me, you can be very, very and I mean very stubborn. As happy go lucky as I can be, when I get a thought in my head, I'm stubborn.
I'm also one of those blessed people to have found the one person who's annoying habits I know I can tolerate for the next hundred years or so. That isn't to say that at some points those habits don't get on my nerves, or my habits don't get on his.
The reason we are able to survive, is the tendency we have to talk things out, until we find a common ground that we can both share. And sometimes those talks can take forever, and I will shut down sometimes because the talking takes a ton of detours, that leads to even more offsetting things until that common ground is established.
So, as much as people want to say the secret to a happy life with a significant other is in saying the female is always right (which is generally true :->) the real secret is compromise.
Saying yes all the time makes you submissive, saying no all the time makes both parties upset and saying maybe means you could be happy.
Here's how to do it:
Step one: Don't just shut down and shut up- at the first sign of brewing trouble, don't put up the defenses, it really might not be as bad as you think.
Step 2: Listen- before you jump in with your two cents, think of when you are in a store..do you get change back before you have given in the money? Let the person state their position before refuting it.
Step 3: Communicate- A two way process in which both parties should have a say.
Step 4: Kiss and make up- don't leave the discussion feeling upset, get rid of it through the discussion, if you can't say 'I love you' at the end, then keep talking, that discussion isn't over.
It will be hard, it will be difficult and..it will be rewarding. Compromise isn't something you should be afraid of in a relationship...after all its a give and take thing, it helps you grow together.
Oh yeah, compromise doesn't only work in love relationships, but also in work relationships.
Here's to positive(in love) people!
As one who is still awesome, I learnt compromising is an important factor to any relationship, whether it is your better half, family or friends.
ReplyDeleteThe key to a successful relationship is that both parties always see eye to eye and everyone is on the same playing field. Yes, there will be differences and fights, however, once each party understand each other compromising can be simple.
Another key ingredient to a healthy relationship is consideration. It is ALWAYS important to consider your partner feelings, never take it for granted and always be respectful.
Do that and maybe .... just maybe you can awesome. ^_^
Consideration is also a key aspect. Never be stubborn or afraid to admit you are wrong. If you think back over a disagreement, even if it is a year in the past and you realize you were the wrong person. Go back and admit fault. Apologize.
ReplyDelete